The Worry Trap

Worrying about little things usually isn't harmful and may even help people accomplish certain things and avoid hazards. Yet for some women, constant fretting can cause physical illness and interfere with relationships and the activities of their daily lives.

Dr. Edward Hallowell in his book, Worry: Hope and Help for a Common Condition, says that excessive worry is an exhausting and dangerous problem for millions of Americans. Everyone worries to a certain extent, but the difference is between those who can pull themselves out of this destructive pattern, and those who think about it so much that it becomes overwhelming and incapacitating.

How do you know when anxiety becomes an obsession and how much is too much worry? Experts say if worry is a habit that is out of control, makes people feel uncomfortable, interferes with sleeping patterns, and causes physical symptoms such as pacing, muscle tension or perspiration, then it is probably time to face the symptoms and take action.

Dr. Hallowell says the key to dealing with worry is to acquire the knowledge that will allow an approach to worry as a manageable problem instead of suffering through it as though there were nothing to be done about it.

Although everyone worries from time to time about family members, work, money, health and many other issues, research indicates that women may worry more than men do.

Worry expert, psychologist Susan Nolen-Hoeksema from the University of Michigan, has conducted research on gender differences in worrying. In a recently published article, she indicates that women tend to worry in response to distress more than men do. Women also have more difficulty in controlling negative emotions, which in turn, cause more worry. She has found that women also feel more responsible than men do for the emotional tone of relationships, and feel that they must maintain positive relationships with others at all costs. Nolen-Hoeksema also found that women feel less in control over important events in their lives than men do.

"Women know that worrying is not a good idea, but this apparently does not help some women avoid worrying," Nolen-Hoeksema says. "People know they would feel better if they avoided worrying, but worry anyway, perhaps because the emotions and thoughts they are focusing on are very compelling."

She believes that the key to decreasing worry is for women to achieve a balance and control of and attention to negative emotions.

Dr. Hallowell also advises that to stop worrying people should first get the facts about what they are worrying about. For example, are they worrying about aches and pains they've been experiencing lately and already jumping to the worst-case scenario that it could mean a fatal disease? Knowing the facts can help avoid jumping to incorrect conclusions.

Another way to stop worrying, according to psychologist Reid Wilson of the University of North Carolina, is to set aside time each day -- say 10 minutes-- to worry. By thinking only negative thoughts for a certain period of time each day, you eventually begin to shift your emotions. Worry time becomes boring and repetitive and you begin thinking positive thoughts about the situation you are worrying about. At the end of 10 minutes, you let your worries go and begin to relax. The theory behind this treatment approach is that if you stop fighting the worries by giving them space and support, their intensity diminishes. The worries just can't sustain themselves and soon you don't think about them anymore.

Experts also advise connecting -- with a family member or friend. Sharing fears can help get reassurance about those fears from those close to you. Experts agree that expending the energy thinking of ways to solve problems is more productive than spending the time worrying about things that may never happen. If people analyze their fears and take corrective action, soon the worry trap will set them free.